13 Kinds of Passengers and Why They Should be Banned from Public Transport (Part 1)

To be born in a country where public transportation is the most common mode of travelling is, I guess, an advantage. Yes it is true that it is definitely not the most comfortable way of going from your house to your office. But then as you get use to it, you would probably have my back in saying that it does have its own charms. Public transport, as I put it, is just the place where you get to rub elbows with different (understatement) individualities and encounter absurd situations that would leave you shaking your head in utter disbelief. I had been commuting for like forever and I still find it amazing to come face to face with another kind of personality in one of my travels when I thought I have met them all already. But let me talk about them later. First, allow me to introduce to you the kind of people I have met during most of my jeepney, bus and van rides and why they should be banned from getting on these public transports.

1. The shampoo commercial model. I would like to blame ALL the shampoo commercials out there for giving birth to these kinds of earthlings. Who is behind the idea that it is okay for girls to let their hair down and allow it to fly freely? Excuse me but the person behind you doesn’t eat hair. Pull them back and keep them to yourselves, and if there is really a need to unleash the shampoo model in you, the corn fields are there to accept you with open arms. But please, not inside a jeepney or an open bus.

2. The bomb. Okay. Let’s be a little lenient over this matter. I live in a tropical country where you still get wet with sweat just minutes after you have taken a shower. Knowing this, we should arm ourselves not to get caught in an embarrassing situation aka explosion of body odors. But kuya, who is just a few meters away, didn’t get the notice and he just lifted his arms and released the smell that can send Sleeping Beauty’s entire Kingdom to an eternal rest.

3. The space occupier. Why can’t she sit down properly even after seeing some passengers trying to fit themselves in in an inch-wide vacant seat? IF you want the whole 9-seater van for yourself, go and rent the whole thing. Sometimes, it gets worse than that. The bag sits comfortably on the chair while some are just putting on a poker face to deal with killer leg cramps.

4. The rocker. In every mode of transportation that I have taken, not once have I encountered one without someone sleeping on it. Some sleep like an army—stiff and straight. Some sleep like an angry teacher—with their arms crossed. And then there is the rocker –body  in a straight position with their head either doing a full circle rotation or a banging motion. I don’t mind people sleeping. Really. What I do mind, on the other hand, is when their head land on my shoulders. Free pillows anyone? Oh! I am the free pillow. If you get lucky, like me, you’ll even receive a souvenir from them: SA.LI.VA.

5. The pubic display of affection advocate. When Deon Jackson sang Love Makes the World Go Round, surely he didn’t mean for people to go around expressing their love in public. Or did he? Point is, no matter how in love you are with each other, the people around you may not feel equally happy to see two strangers smooching with each each other out in the open, more so inside a public transportation where it is hot, crowded and definitely not conducive for dating. Some would even roll their eyes and, between gritted teeth, whisper… “Magbrebreak din kayo! (You will also break-up with each other!).

6. The customer service representative. Trademark: People with a phone on their hand and talk like they are running after a Guinness Book of World Record for the most number of phone calls in a short time. Although there is nothing wrong with making a phone call while on your way to your work, making your conversation audible where everyone can hear is not so wise. Remember that there are also a lot of things running inside your co-passengers’ head and hearing your discussion about how cute your seatmate is is probably the least of their worries.

—-to be continued—-

credits to the owners of the pictures

13 Common Love Story Plots You Can’t Miss Out (Part 2)

8.   The ‘Coffee, tea or love me?’ plot. Cliché as it may sound but this plot happens often in real life. A bachelor works like a madman in his office. His efficient but old secretary is about to resign and now he wants a better if not the best replacement. Then here comes Ms. Secretary. Beautiful, with the ability of 3 secretaries merged into one and can make him forget about the pile of papers he needs to autograph. They work overtime allowing the two of them to really know each other in a different light. Ms. Secretary on the other hand, finds her boss charming and can make her heart skip a beat. Basically you get the idea. This plot usually takes place inside the perimeters of their working place with the employees as their supporting characters

9.   The ‘Langit ka, Lupa ako’ plot. This is divided into two classifications. The first is that a slum girl meets a gorgeous and rich bachelor in the streets while selling stuffs like fruits, sampaguita, good morning towels and what-have-you’s. They instantly hit it off but there is one problem: The rich mother wants someone with breeding to be paired to his son and not just a random girl he meets in the streets. The guy, who is undoubtedly head over heels in love, would defy his mother’s wishes and decides to elope with the girl instead. But almost all love stories do have happy endings. The wicked mother, realizing he loves his son very much would just open-heartedly accept the vendor girl. End.

The second one is basically the same as the first but with a twist at the end. Instead of the guy fighting for his love, something tragic would happen, like his father is suddenly hospitalized and he needs to choose whether to continue seeing the girl or just accept his mother’s wish for his father’s sake. He chooses the first option. The girl was heartbroken but in the middle of her grieving, a lawyer shows up telling her that she is in fact the heir of an oil magnate who is about to die. She opted to see the old man and discovers that the lawyer was telling the truth and that she is actually rich. Because she and her loved one are now part of the same circle, they often see each other. The good part is that they patched things up and the mother, because the girl is actually rich, never bothered to interfere with his son’s love affair.

10.  The ‘Nalasing kami kaya may nangyari sa amin’ plot. This plot happens to either two friends, or two complete strangers. For the friends, it is a usual scene to see them hanging together. However, at that particular moment, other members of the barkada are nowhere to be found. Just the two of them sharing their own personal problems and stuffs. The next day, they wake up due to headache with a touch of surprise. They are both naked and a red stain on the blanket is VERY visible. Ketchup maybe? The thing is they don’t remember anything. Awkward moments are expected but they decided to shrug it off and pretend that nothing happened. But situation like this is hard to forget. They would think about each other and the supposedly ‘maiinit na tagpo’ that took place when they were wasted.

For the strangers, the girl is maybe in her middle 20’s but is totally a pure and timid girl. When she and her girl friends meet, the topic would always be about her. So to prove them wrong, she decides to get rid of her virginity by picking up a hot dude in the bar. But before that, she took too many shots to muster all the courage and throw away her inhibitions. After the steamy night though, the two strangers, for some unexplained reasons keep seeing each other in unexpected circumstances.

11.  The ‘I’m your slave/I’m the great pretender’ plot. These two plots are somewhat connected to each other because they usually start with a dare. The first one happens when one of them loses a bet and as a payment, would act as a slave for let’s say a week or a month, following his or her master’s orders. Carry my bag, or shine my shoes or do my assignment are some of the more classic examples. The second plot on the other hand is where the guy or the girl’s friends would make a bet that if he or she can make that person like him or her, the friends are willing to pay a price. So they would give in into the situation. Actually they like the person already and they see these situations as a blessing rather than curse.

12.  The ‘Beauty and the beast’ plot. A plot inspired by fairytales wherein the girl or the boy falls in love with a not-so-gorgeous-human-being. The guy is usually a heartthrob whose girlfriend is a beauty queen, model or actress. The girl is a simple girl whose beauty is not well-pronounced. But despite this, the guy falls in love with her because of her pure heart and innocence. However, because of the guy’s track record when it comes to his previous girlfriend, he was ashamed to admit to his friends that he fell in love with a simple girl. The girl, hurt by the guy’s actions, weeps and breaks up with the guy. He was threatened to lose her so he makes a cheesy proposal in front of many people to prove to her how much he loves her.

13.  The ‘The Spell can be broken with true love’s kiss” plot. Now this is not happening in real life but still an old time favorite. One of the many modern samples is Beastly and Enchanted. There was once a handsome but rude guy. He thinks he can get away with his looks always so he does things his own way. But one day, faith interfered. A sickly lady appears asking him for his help but instead of showing compassion and pity, he laughs at her. But the lady is actually a fairy. She turns him into an old ugly guy and the gives him a flower, weird-looking tattoos, magic hour-glass and other stuffs telling him that when those stuffs ran out, he is to remain ugly forever. Unless, someone (a girl of course) can give him true love’s kiss, and then the spell is broken. Magical.

So there. Thirteen plots. And I can say that there are more. I just find these plots very common (I am reading number 6 right now). The writers ran out of ideas so they just made use of these stories to create another story? Maybe. But that’s not what I thought. For every fictional story, lies a fact. Which can only mean that plots are most of the time inspired by true-to-life experiences and encounters, only covered in flowery and scented words to awaken strong emotions. I hope my own love story would be something like number thirteen. It would really be exciting. I mean, really.